Men Who Stare At Goats, 2009

I had heard that this was a good show. From someone. I think it turned out to be an utter waste of time and insanely stupid. There is quite a cast of notable actors, and I have a really hard time swallowing the fact that they all agreed to do this show. Maybe as a farce? Obviously, I just didn't get the punchline.

On this rare occasion, I turn to other reviewers to see what in the world they got out of this. Some are like me. A very small group of folks seem to think that this film points to the smoking gun of the idiocy that goes on inside the US military and political clowns. I can buy that, but this film did a poor job of pointing that out - very immature IMO.

The Last Airbender, 2010

Apparently, my expectations for this movie were a bit too high. I guess the fact that there were kid actors should have clued me in. Granted, that sounds harsh for young, talented actors - my biggest beef with this film was the horrible script. While it dealt with some excellent topics like "responsibility", most of the dialog was horrid and some of it just down right asinine. I was also supremely pissed off when the last few scenes were an obvious jumping-off point for a sequel. I will not be seeing the sequel, thank you very much.

With so many Asian influences (including the middle-eastern flavors of the Fire Nation), I just could not understand why Katara and Sokka were cast as white Americans.

This really was a young teen's movie, I think. Unfortunately. Not much for an adult to draw from.

Terminator Salvation, 2009

I had an opportunity to watch this flick for free - did not want to waste the money to rent it. The whole Terminator series has gone down hill in a big way. The time travelling just throws the whole thing off. The lastest film capitulates on the impossible war against the superior machines, and there are so many holes that the story could be a strainer for pasta.

I love all things hi-tech; I like robots, spaceships, futuristic settings, etc. The only reason I even agreed to watch latest incarnation of Terminator was for the special effects and the robots. While I enjoyed the soundscape and various technology-oriented themes, it was mostly a disappointment. It seems that the machines have gotten dumber and weaker instead of smarter and stronger. They have at least gotten bigger; the monstrous, 60-foot tall bi-pedal mech had the cool touch of including mechanized, autonomous killer bikes. Although for all their technologocial superiority, they still were immobilized very easily. Likewise, the machine slave transporter included cool assault drop ships.

Seeing a complete CGI redo of Schwarzenegger was awful. Why bring that back? Of all the kooky things, it seems that the new model's skin is exceedingly tough - the flesh was not even scratched with another Terminator smacked him upside the head. That is some impervious skin. Too bad the metal underlying the skin is so brittle.

Duplicity, 2009

Like Doubt, this one left too much up in the air. Not quite as bad. Unfortunately, I do not like the main leads (Clive Owens and Roberts have done a number of flicks together now, and I do not like their clashing smashups at all).

The director did pull some of the loose threads together, which I appreciated. The "twist" at the end even comes across as intentional, instead of a poorly done movie. One line I did not quite get, out of the many I did not get, was when Claire (Roberts) says to Ray (Owen) during one fun kissing scene is "We still do not trust each other". Sure, I get that in the espionage business, the key is never to trust anyone. But they did trust each other. I came away thinking that they direction allowed them to have too much bonding time with each other; if they truly did not trust each other, they should have been a bit more evil, cruel, conniving, manipulative. Don't get me wrong, plenty of that was going on, but it was feeling too much like "Mr. & Mrs. Smith".

Doubt, 2008

I am trying to decide what I liked about this movie. Not much. Part of it is that I do not care for Streep or Hoffman. In a way, that made everyone else stand out. =) Sister James (Amy Adams) was a good character, charming for all her naivete, but a little too childish in some ways.

I realize the premise of the movie is Doubt. And I think it makes a good point that even in varoius pursuits of religious sincercity and faith, everyone has doubts. That being said, what was the point? What was the audience to walk away with? A movie capitalizing on the topic of doubt should not leave so much up in the air, I think.

Babylon A.D., 2008

To be honest, the only reason I picked this dvd up was because it had Vin Diesel and things blowing up. =) And call me weird, but the title made me think of Titan A.E., to the point I had "Babylon A.E." in my head. Yes, I am messed up, I realize that. I guess there are distant and vague similarities, but...

And while I like Vin Diesel, I have not been overly impressed by his sci-fi roles. I like him as an individual in the Riddick series, but the story line did not do him any favors. He really stands out in the down-to-earth, honest-to-goodness, bang 'em up here and now pieces like Fast and Furious.

Back to Babylon. What the heck is the title supposed to mean?!? It was never really explained in the movie - if it was, I totally missed it. The not-so-distant future of eastern Europe/Russia and New York was appropriately "just enough to be possibly believable". I enjoyed the tantalizing mystery of who (or what) Aurora was, and I thought Mélanie Thierry did a great job portraying her. Interesting to see Yeoh getting some screen time on a sci-fi flick - I like her character as well. The whole whacked-out religious angle was bigger than I could chew, and did not get how the "virgin birth" would legitimize the so-called religion.

The ending was just horrid. I felt like an artiste was sitting at the potter's wheel and keeled over from a heart attack, and some entrepreneuring capitalistic snob sold the unfinished work as the masterpiece it was not.

Analyze That, 2002

For a film that is 3 years younger than Analyze This, That felt like it was shot the day after. And the crying just gets worse. And then to throw a musical on Deniro's character... that was just plain painful.

Alembical, by Lawrence Schoen and Arthur Dorrance

Not much to say about this piece. I realize it is a small collection of novellas, but the first two I just could not get into at all (didn't even finish them), so I gave up on the rest.

The 13th Warrior, 1999

For some reason, I had been wanting to see this film. I could have gone without.

I was first put off by the bad contrast - the night-time scenes have shadows that are way too strong and too prevalent. Perhaps a product of 1999 cameras? Next, I did not buy Banderas's rendition of an Muslim ambassador - the guy has a Spanish accent for crying out load. =) The cover of the movie makes him out to be this serious kick-ass dude, but for a large part of the movie, his voice seems way too childish, cannot hold a decent broadsword and "cries like a woman". And storywise, his character really did not do much at all.

Perhaps one of my favorite parts was the thoughtful transition from the Viking language to English; it showed intelligence and purposefulness. And.... that's about it.

The action shots were quite lackluster, especially the final battle. Wow. In some shots, it almost looked like someone was throwing a bucket of red liquid around - very unbelievable. And the showdown between the two "leaders" was pathetic.

I did not understand the Bear people at all. How is it that they have thrived so well and unnoticed? I mean, a legend has sprung up about a "serpent of fire" - that does not happen overnight. And they have basically sequestered themselves into a rocky ravine and cave like a hive of wasps (they even have a queen mother).

Bad entertainment.

Cosmos Incorporated, by Maurice G. Dantec

This was the second of three books that I experimented with, and it also failed the "first chapter" test. I felt that the author went way too overboard trying to be technical and "computeristic". Some interesting potential, but even I who am into the geeky computer jargon thing got lost with this one. I wanted a semi-believable escape into a surrealistic future, not a reference manual.

Hell and Earth, by Elizabeth Bear

I picked up a few books in the library's NEW section, just to see what I could see. I told myself I would read the first chapter, and if I liked it, I would read it. Only one of the three passed that litmus test. This was not one of them.

The opening chapter was too... pedantic is the only word that comes to mind. It did not draw me in. Where are the faeries? What's the connection? Who is Queen Mab? I do not know what this book was trying to be, but it was not it for me.

Saint Antony's Fire, by Steve White

I have never really been a big fan of alternative history, and this book just reinforced that idea. And the whole thing with the stereotypical alien is just way too over-the-top for me. What is this, a circus?

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, 2007

Blah. I am tempted to leave it at that.

There are so many divergences from the comics that I easily loose track of the connection. Perhaps that is the intent? Interesting how Stan Lee's cameo was only to be refused at the glorified wedding. That my favorite part, and that is saying something.

Way too much CGI. With all the other horrible liberties taken, I am surprised they stuck with Norrin Radd's background. And more on that.... Doug Jones, another very interesting fellow. He wears a lot of make-up in his other movies, so much so that one would never recognize him as the same man who was in Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth, and others.

And I'll leave it at that.

XXX: State of the Union, 2005

This was not bad for a B-Movie. Unfortunately, it is not a b-movie. I'm sorry, but Ice Cube is no replacement for Vin Diesel. The tech was unbelievable, the acting so-so (the college-kid sidekick was horrible), the plot extremely thin, special-effects anything but special. For instance, the "half mil car" with something 1000 horsepower or whatever. The Bugati Veyron has 1001 horses and can achieve over 250 mph, but only with special adaptations that allow the car to stay on the road. The movie's roadster looked rather plain for such a car, and somehow it was able to jump a bank, waddle around on the train tracks for a while before loosing the tires and riding the rails bare??!? Whatever.

I did not like Dafoe or Jackson, either. Everytime I see Dafoe doing something military, I think of his poorly-casted role as John Clark in Clear and Present Danger, and Jackson always harkens me back to Pulp Fiction.

Quantum of Solace, 2008

I really like Daniel Craig as a James Bond character; a pleasant change from Brosnan (*gag*). The car scene at the beginning was appropriately great; good bang 'em up. And the chase scenes on top of, to the side of and through buildings was excellent. I am curious how many of his own stunts Craig does. Very impressive stuff regardless.

But the story was a bit lame. And I have always hated Bondesque boat chases - they are so contrived and nothing resembling reality. Granted, a lot of the movie is that way, but I can live with most of it. But not boat chases. And back to the story.... it just did not grip me at all. Maybe I missed it, but I have no clue what "Quantum" was even supposed to be.

Personally, I rather trade the Brosnan-era, including all the fun gadgets, for the hard-hitting, gadgetless Craig era. I just hope the story writers get with it.

Crank, 2006

I like Statham films I have seen so far, and this was another one of his action-packed deliveries. The artistic sense was a bit new, but not wholly undesirable. Having him expose himself so often got a bit old.

While the action was thick and the pace was quick, there was a bit too much swearing and nudity. And unnecessary gore. I did really enjoy the car chases, the bang-ups, the explosions, and the "go go go" race against time.

Poseidon, 2006

I do not know why I picked this film out; perhaps because I wanted some good old testosterone blood-pumping suspense and action. There was very little of that. Well, suspense aplenty. And most everybody dies.

Some of the things that really ruined this film. First, I know a little about tsunami's. But they never say "tsunami", but rather a "rogue wave". Yeah, a wave. What is the point of turned a big cruise liner parallel to such a wave? Would hitting it head on have a higher chance of breaking the boat? And I do not buy how a boat like that could possibly stay afloat once flipped over - I don't care about the big atrium in the middle, it would be crushed like a bubble.

Kudos to the actors who did a lot of swimming. That was probably hard work. Unfortunately, it was all very unbelievable, and dissolved any connection going into those scenes. Clear, warm well-lit water with several minutes of breathable air under exertion? *grin* What kind of boat wreck is this?

Pathfinder, 2007

The preview made me think this film would be interesting, or at least entertaining. I was disappointed.

The concept at least is intriguing; Viking warriors descend upon Indians (go ahead, call them by their PC names) and utterly outclass them, but are stopped cold. The "destiny" of the orphaned child has been played on many times, and I think this film try to raise life from dry bones. Tried and failed. While the Vikings were portrayed as utterly barbaric and bestial, it was too much, over the top. And when the "ghost warrior" is reunited with his enemies/brethren, he automatically understands and can talk with them? Whatever.

I do not know if it was bad acting, or bad screenwriting, or both. But it was bad.

River of Gods, by Ian McDonald

Sad to say, I was not able to finish this book. Maybe it was my frame of mind, perhaps my expectations or mental requirements at the time. The book simply failed to capture my interest; it is quite slow, the supposedly intertwined stories too disparate (in fact, rather independent), and way too much emphasis on sex. Ian McDonald explores some bizarre concepts. The placement of a pure Indian (as in south eastern Asia) locale also makes the story seem much more alien.

Stardust, by Neil Gaiman

I am glad I saw the movie first, in this particular case. I found the book to be overly fluffy, and did not really have the depth I was hoping for. I felt the movie, by going to the big screen, breathed so much more life into the story than what it originally had.

Additionally, Hollywood took the story in a much different direction than Neil did. Not sure how the author feels about that, but I sure enjoyed Hollywood's version more. With exceptions, of course.